waiting for approval....

we have sent the forms off and now weare waiting. we are waiting to hear if we get approval to start ivf on the nhs... we found out we only will be able to have one fully funded cycle from the nhs.... i cant beleive it, i really cant, it seems that the finish line is getting further and further away and i cant see me finishing this goal.... anyway i am stuck in hospital now and have been here for 12 days, hoping to go home on day 14... heres hoping.... i have been ringing adam up every day to see if we have heard form the panel who will approve us but nothingyet... founsd a friend here whos is going through ivf with the cycstic fibrosis aspect but on the male side. and its nice to know i am not alone .... its just a struggle, espescially as my sister in law being so great with her new baby..... (sorry, my inner bitch cant help herself sometimes...)

one down one to go...

we have had the nessesary blood tests and swabs done etc in preparation for getting started with IVF, we only have one appointment left on weds to fill out all the nessesary paperwork, which then goes to panel, who meet 3 times a month to get nhs funding, then once we are approved we can start as soon as care can fit us in. god its been a hard journey, hence why i havent filled this in for a while.

i am still working, but in the next few weeks i am off to hospital for a top up and be ready to go with the drugs, i cant wait. my sister in law had her baby, a boy called stanley, he is lovely but it was horrid to come away from seeing them all as a perfect family, but i got through it, still here!

update more soon....

first step of our IVF journey

well we have had our first appointment since the hsg and we have finally got our long awaited answers, there is no chance to clear my tubes, as i have cf, i will always produce more mucus so it wont help solve the problem. Our consultant said that we were about to start a new journey, and i thought i was about to cry at this point, but i was ok! I have to have some swabs and bloods to check for chlamidia and rubella, and something else, and then we have to see the nurse for both of us to have HIV and Hepatitus tests, then one more appointment to go through our application for NHS funding, and once we get the go ahead from the panel, we are in the system and we can start when my cycle allows it! so within a few months we could be really starting it!

i had a wobble in the car on the way home, as i was so over whelmed, and i still hadnt let the thought of IVF really sink in, I have really struggled with comming to terms with the whole process, but this evening, i am really starting to get excited about it, its our biggest chance of starting our family that we are going to have, and i cant wait to start.

so in the meantime i am going to get my bmi to an acceptable level, which will take hard work but i am not letting that be a reason not to start right away, i am going to go into hospital hopefully in about september so i am in tip top condition, i am going to do the best i can,

steady feet dont let me down.....

Out of the dark..

i think i am finally coming back to normality...

i am still trying to come to terms with all the results and things but my dark moments are getting fewer and fewer and i am starting to realise that IVF isnt such BAD thing , if anything i am comming round to the idea that it could be very positive for us, i am also having moments where i am excited and want to start now!
we just now have to wait to see our consultant, whgich i have managed to get it brought foreward from the 6th august to the 2nd july which is only 3 weeks away.... hopefully we will find out where it takes place, about self funding, waiting lists and so on... who knows,

on the cf front, i came out of hospital two weeks ago, and true to form i have got another chest infection which is just soooo typical of me,,, oh well some more orals antibs i think for now.

i am still unemployed but i am activly looing and may have something coming up soon so keep you informed!!

.. not sure if anyone reads this , i know i do and my hubby does but i guess it is only a place to put down my inner workings....

:-)

After the HSG...

well i will start from the begining, we got to northampton after an hour driving from leicester, signed in in reception and went to wait out side the room, i had to go and get changed into a very sexy hospital issue dressing gown thingy and then i was asked for a wee sample, true to form, i couldnt go so had some water and then managed a few drops! went in and lay down, had the speclum inserted, and the consultant did the things he needed to do, didnt hurt too much but there was a few points when i thought i might fly off the table but it was manageable,

after it was done, we got told the news that my tubes were completely blocked and our only hope is to go for IVF...

we were both absolutely heartbroken, and we totally didnt expect it to be that.

i have returned to hospital and have had a few hours to wallow and try to digest the news, but i think it will take time....

so it would seem that we are now on the road to IVF for our dream to have a baby.....

quick update

well, i type this from hotel glenfield, where i am an impatient. all going well, starting to feel better now which is great, on the cf front nothing major to report really, unless you consider the horrendous bruises from where they have attempted to take blood!!! my port a cath (mark 6) is working well for a change.

on the ttc front, we went back to the fertility consultant and saw his registra which i wasnt pleased with and he knew nothing of cf, anyway it was deceided to do a HSG on me this coming friday, it is a procedure where they insert a speculum (similar to what they use for a smear) and inject dye into my womb and take x rays to determine if there is any blockges!!! not sure what to expect but i will no doubt give a full report about it. thats on friday and my lovely husband is coming from northampton to get me in leicester, take me to northampton general and then bring me back to hospital here in leicester, what a sweetie he is!

no other news really, oo me and adam took a very much needed break to london for 4 days and to celebrate our first year of marriage! which has been a wonderful year! while in london i also met up with my pen pal of over 12 years, she came over with her husband to do a europe tour and we deceided to meet up, and it was fab, i also had a tear in my eye when we had to part ways!!! i hope we meet again before another 12 years go by! the weather was fab in london and i now look like i have been to the med for 2 weeks!!

thats all for now.

A

some pics!

may 5th 2007, our wedding day!

thought it was time to put a face to a name, here i am at the eye last week with my fab husband.!