long time! 1st time in hospital!

i have been rubbish, i know i know, but i am here now and will regale a few tales from the last month,

i was admitted to hospital on the 1st april for IVs as i had been in desperate need of them as i had put off ivs for so long this being the first course i had been given since november when i was 31 weeks pregnant and really poorly. but this time was a sort of tune up and although i didnt feel poorly my lung function reflected that i needed IVs as it was down to 60% from my usual 74% harriet came in with me and i was lucky enough to have a cot form the childrens ward but i was warned it may need to ga back at any point if they needed it, so i tooka travel cot with us. I cant beleive how much stuff a baby needs, I had for myself, A rucksack, my eflow bag and my handbag, Queen Harriet had a travel cot, suitcase, changing bag, 2 x bags for life of toyes blankets etc, a baby bath, steriliser, music box, nappies & wipes, pushchair base/carrycot/seat unit, and her car seat.... all in my fiesta! oh and 2 of my pillows it was a squeeze!

i was on meropenim and colomycin, and all the otherusual! me and harriet ventured out everyday wether it be as far as the canteen or round the hospital! adam visited most days and i was lucky enough that he had her overnight for 3 times which gave me the time for much needed rest, the nurses were brilliant and they had her occasionally when i needed to shower or get bottles ready, they also fussed over her but this wasnt always good when i was trying to get her to sleep, all in all it wasnt too bad, i will aim to do home ivs next time but thats because harriet might be crawlng and i dont think its suitable to have her on the ospital floors or cooped up in her cot, but time will tell,

she has started on some baby rice and fruit now and she just loves her fruit, i am so so proud of her and she also gave me her first giggle too which made me want to cry, it was also a year ago to the day on the 13th that she was conceived Through the miracle of IVF, we are so so luck and i love her, i cant believe she is 5 months almost....xx

Time does fly....

Well, Harriet is 4 months old next week, and i just dont know where that time has gone... she is just a smashing baby, we had a rough couple of weeks where she got really constipated and then wouldnt feed as a result, but after a trip to the doctors and some latulose she has got herself moving and is now feeding so well we have upped her milk to 6 oz!!! hooooray! She weighed 11lbs and 7oz last week so still putting on but a slow grower and a shortie like her parents!!

I have celebrated my first mothers day. When I compare this year to where I was a year ago, The difference could be measured in miles, last year i was in the middle of IVF and this year my baby was rolling around in bed with me and Adam. It was a lovely day and I was given a mumy card and a photo frame with 'I love my mum' and a piccy of me and Harriet! it was the best feeling in the world....

I am a bit nervous as i am approaching IV time, it has been a world record for me - 5 months and after much uming and ahing i am going in for 4-5 days then maybe come home on home IVs depending how i get on. I will be taking Harriet in with me, there is no way i would go in without her, i am very lucky though and my hospital allow me to take her in with me which i am sooooo grateful for!!! watch this space for how we get on...

We have the vicar coming round tomorrow to organise Harriets christening, which i hope will take place in early june and hopefully at a local church in the village.... i hope so anyway, i have family in Ireland and my cousin is having Harriets gown made in ireland in irish crochet and i cant wait it will be a lovely heirloom for her in years to come, when her children get christened.... i hope to make every effort to be around then....

3 months old

wow the time just flies.... on monday harriet will be 3 months old, her age is now calculated in months not weeks.... that makes me a bit sad as she is growing but i am so happy. she started swimming this week and slept through that night but not since!!!

i had a few wobbles this week, in a good way..... 1st being, i was pushing harriet in the pushchair in her big girl seat, not the carry cot for the first time, and i caught a glimse of me in a window, me, pushing a buggy with MY baby. my own baby, it seemed to register that I have a baby and i wasnt looking jealously at another mummy who was pushing a buggy, i was seeing myself for the first time as others see me, just 'another mother with a small baby'..... it still brings tears to my eyes just writing it down, its what i have wanted for 5 years.... 2nd time was hearing and singing along to a song that just one line in it was my focal point for keeping me strong when i needed to be, mostly in the year we did ivf and the few very rocky (my lowest point ever) months leading up to it. the song was stop and stare, by onerepublic, and there is a line that sings '.....steady feet dont fail me now...' and hearing it and realisong i didnt need tohear it for the reasons i did before was a weepy moment. i am so lucky to have a wonderful husband and the most beautiful daughter in the world. x

picture is harriet in her big girl seat!

hmmmm.....

i really should tidy up my cf stuff....... its a total mess

Gah...... bl**dy chest infection

hmmm, had a raging chest infection, doubling my efforts to stay out of the hospital, i really dont want to take harriet in unless i desperately need to, i hope cipro will keep me out for a few weeks,

harriet is 10 weeks old and is starting to fit into her 0-3 outfits which is nice, she has been full of smiles too....

i am successfully managing cf care and baby care... spot the cf equipment in one of the photos

a letter to baby

this is a letter to baby that i wrote when i was pregnant for her baby book,

A letter to Baby.
What can I write to explain how We feel about you, our long awaited baby. You have only been growing in my tummy for 5 months but already your such a huge part of our lives, it’s taken us so long to be here, after many years of heartache and disappointments, but we have finally said goodbye to those times and are getting ready for the new exciting times ahead, you have already filled our lives with such happiness and hope, it has been worth every single tear, and there are still tear’s now but they are of joy, absolute joy that is immeasurable on any scale. We are so thankful, both mummy and daddy will always love and cherish you, and give you all the love we can possibly give to you; there is nothing we wouldn’t do for you already. You are going to be part of our wonderfully strong and sometimes unconventional life, with you we are going to be a family and just to say that makes my heart swell with pride. A family, all because of you. You will, well, already are, the centre of our universe and if I love you this much already I can’t begin to conceive how I can love you more when you’re finally here. I hope that we are all you can hope for as parents and that we deliver our side of the bargain by bringing you up with love and a warm safe home. Where ever you end up going in life, I hope you always know that whenever you need me or your daddy we will always welcome you with open arms and that your house will always be your home. We can’t wait to meet you, precious baby, grow big and strong and we will see you at Christmas, a Christmas which will deliver the best present we can ever ask for, you.

Mummy & Daddy

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Love beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure

oh yes i have a blog....whoops

firstly, huge congratulations on my fellow cf mummy Emma, having given birth (traumatically) to her lovely little boy, Tedber. well done emma and brad......

harriet is 8 weeks old tomorrow. where has the time gone, she weighed in at 8lbs 9oz last week at 7 weeks, and has passed her 6 week check!!!! she is in her own room and sleeping at 5 hour stints at night which is good. she is such a lovely little baby and is starting to smile for me and daddy, the only picture of her smiling is from my phone which i will try to post pics of...

cf wise doing ok, not bad just starting to dread ivs and how i will cope at home doing them or cope being in the hospital with Harriet???? gah.

thats all i have time to write today...