musing really..

At various points in my recent yers when going through emotional times, a few songs have kept in my mind as being relevant to me and what i was feeling at that particular point in my life, the first one i can remember listening to a few of the lyrics from One republics 'stop and stare'

'..stop and stare, i think i'm moving but i dont know where, yes i know that everyone gets scared,...' '.....steady feet dont fail me now...' ----this was popular when we were doing IVF and i felt quite sad/low/uncertian and this song kept me going when i felt too out of my depth or scared i wouldnt be able to cope with the IVF or worse, IVF not working,

and now that my Girl is reaching one and is such a smiley and happy baby, there is a song out that the words could have been written by me. its Bruno mars -Just the way you are

' when i see your face, theres not a thing that i would change, cos your amazing just the way you are, and when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, cos girl your amazing just the way you are...'

(recently sung by matt cardle on x factor....

i love my life

A few Milestones....

Me- CF wise all looks good, had a two week course of IVs at home which hopefully will see me through to next year, fingers crossed. doing home IVs was HARD work, the next time i think i will do a week in hospital and a week at home, as having to do IVS and look after harriet was extreemly tiring, and drained me, so next time i hope to arrange childcare for the first week,... my lung function was 63% at the start, which is down and at the end it only came up to 74% but my team are not worried so nor am I,

I am sadly going back to work, only for a day a week, but it still breaks my heart to leave harriet, and hopefully just doing one day a week will not make me ill....

Anyway, Harriet, she is 10 and a half months old, i cant quite believe that in 6 weeks she will be One year old. One. my baby will be one... Its just gone so speedy, and i dont think a year has ever flown so fast.... I am hoping to do her a Party but its till under construction,

she has had her third tooth cut through, and last week has started crawling and now i cant stop her!! she waves hello and goodbye, and pretends to sneeze, she still goes swimming with me and can hold onto the side without support and climb out the pool with no assistance. She weighs 18lb 9oz, and is on the 50th centile actual age and adjusted !

ireland went well,

Well Ireland went great, harriet was a dream on the flights, although i had to taste her milk (yuk) and food. she was loved by all my family and she was a baby to be proud of.

some piccys,

a few more pics...

I will do better...

I will get better at keeping my blog going...

alls well here, harriet is 8 months and 3 weeks old, sitting up beautifully and almost getting into crawling position... god help me when she is on the move...

cf wise i have never been better, i am still IV free and have been since april, i am going to have IVs at home hopefully late september, after a few trips etc we have booked, one being !!!ME AND HARRIET ARE GOING TO IRELAND!!! to visit family!!! i cant wait but am nervous about flying solo with an infant -watch this space to see my guide to flying with an infant!! we get back from there on the 12ths so will prob start home ivs the monday after, just as a precaution,

i am in a dilema with wether to go back to work or not, i am sure i have been this healthy because i am not working meself in to the round (which i am prone to doing) and i just love my life with harriet, i know i will never ever get these moments and months back and i enjoy my time with her so much and as well i would trust no one to look after her as well as i can,,,,, mmm

anyway here is some piccys xxx

Our first family Holiday

We went to hasting for a long weekend and it was fabulous!!! the weather was great, and we did many things, including a cliff railway, the beach, ate ice cream by the sea and lovely drives to name a few.

there was one moment while we were on the beach when I was looking at other familys with young children, and in that moment I though 'wont it be nice when we have a baby to do that with' - then it hit me. It truly hit me with the power of a train, I Have that.... we have our darling beautiful baby who me and adam can experience being parents to, we have that baby who will grow into a toddler and wanting encouragement to go near the sea, it shocked me that my frame of mind is still in the habit of thinking, 'when or if' when it sould really be saying 'thats us soon'

i know a lot of my posts are just gushing about how much i am in love with my baby and i am always so thankful, its been such a journey though, i am changing as a person just because of this little girl!

I am indredibly proud that Harriet was conceived through IVF and the journey we went on to have her, so i tend to bring it up to anyone, most recently a girl i went to college with in the tesco que, it emerged she too was struggling to conceive and is attending the infertillity clinic i went to, and have since revived our friendship and i like to think i give her someone to confide in and offer support to, as i had no one when it was me.

xx

With Mummy and One of my Godmothers,xx